Discharged
by mentalillusions
Summary: Sequel to Time is the Only Cure. After leaving Downton's convalescent home, Edward is sent back to Oxford, taking his parents by surprise when he does not arrive there alone, but with Thomas along side him, bringing him to act as his new doctor-come-manservant. But when he gets there, he finds he has not only been discharged from the army and hospital, but from his life altogether.
1. The adventure begins

As the car pulled up into the drive, Thomas saw a large red bricked house. Outside it, a modest, but fair, amount of staff were lined up. Although a huge drop in comparison to Downton Abbey, it would still be considered one of the larger stately homes, in comparison to other middle class households.

Standing by the door were his parents, who Thomas saw quickly exchange an uncomfortable look, before smoothing it out to look at the car which had now stopped parallel to the house.

As the door was opened by a near by servant, Edward wobbly, yet confidently, hopped out of the car. The smile which became fixated on his mothers face looked forced and ridged, as her eyes once again glanced over to her husband, a stern, but expressionless man, looking the spitting image of a rich Carson, before setting them back on her son who was now only a few meters away from where she was standing. The look she was most likely trying to achieve was sincere love, but it was all to clear that it really conveyed extreme discomfort.

Thomas walked over to the back of the car, lifting the boot to retrieve the one small suitcase of possessions Edward owned, before going to stand beside him, trying to look as calm, confident, and collected as he could, even though inside he felt like he might just puke from nerves, _in the most gentlemanly fashion of course._

"Edward" his mother called, as his father stood still next to her, emotionless, sporting the look of a statue.

_More like a gargoyle._

_Hm. Maybe they could be a pair of gargoyles? Their already standing in position by the door, a few minor adjustments and they'd be the mirror imagine..._

"Edward." she said again, this time appearing with less of a discomfort, but more of a fiery rage, boiling deep below the surface, ready to erupt in an explosion of words, as soon as they were out of the way of prying eyes.

Edward winced as his name was called.

_Well this is going to be fun._

"Shall we go inside, dear? Gregson, bring us some tea, we're _all _going retire to the drawing room to discus current situations and affairs." She spoke in a seemingly neutral voice, but inside it held the unwelcoming undertones of bitter love and forced politeness.

_This bitch may think she's fooling us all with her false love, but she isn't fooling me, nor Edward for that matter, _Thomas thought, peering over his shoulder to look at his lover whose face was the image of pain and distress.

_Christ, Edward wasn't lying when he said his mothers was a 'two-faced-delusional-bitch-princess'; (its funny 'cause when Edward first said this to me, apart from being surprised that he had learnt to drop his middle class dialogue so quickly and join the real world of conversation techniques; I told him he must be over reacting and asked him if his mother was O'Brien or the Devil. To this he gave no reply, only to tell me she's the type who would 'give you hell just for clashing your socks with your tie'. To this I asked if she was Carson)._

_God, I can confirm his statement true and I haven't even said 'hello' yet. If this woman is to be my employer, then I'll need to play it safe, but if she even dares to think she can win one over on me, she has another thing coming, because she's met her downfall. After all, regardless of whether she thinks she's a princess, I still outrank her being a 'snark queen' (I never thought that awful [and completely untrue] nickname would come in handy. Yes I speak my mind but i'm hardly snarky.)_

_And to think I thought teaching Edward to let go of some of his social etiquette and encouraging him to speak his mind more was a GOOD idea. He sure showed me._

_Note to self: must make Edward give me a new, more bearable nickname, as I cannot spend the rest of my days here being called: queen, princess, Tommy, or tomtum._

* * *

Once inside the drawing room, the awkward atmosphere hanging in the air became so heavy you could nearly feel it pressing down on you, threatening to crush you to bits if you even dared to breathe, net alone speak.

Not to anyone's surprise, his mother was the first to talk, somehow making it clear to him before they'd even been introduced that she called the shots, and no one would speak unless spoken to. In any other situation it would be amusing how this not only seemed to apply to him, but to everyone else in the room.

"Edward."  
She eventually spoke in a harsh, but cold tone, pointedly looking at him, not that it made any difference.

"I think you should tell me who this man is..." she said with a brief, but sour, glare towards Thomas.

"and why he's with you, when I _specifically_ said that I was hiring a man to look after you. Did the army instate you with this..._carer_ to attend to you? Because if they did, you shouldn't have accepted because you know full well that we have the money to pay for such things, and we don't need..._charity._"

Edward let out an involuntary sigh, earning him a scolding look from his mother.

"No, I was not issued him as 'charity'. He was my previous doctor, I brought him here to act as a valet-come-doctor to me; working on the principle that I highly doubt any manservant you hire is going to have medical training to act as multi-functional support for me."

His response came out fluently and calm, almost like he had been preparing it for when the question arose.

The conversation continued like this for some time, with his mother repeatedly asking stupid questions, and demanding to know if anyone were insinuating that they weren't good enough, and Edward sighing with a 'no' every time.

Although no one was speaking in raised voices, yet, the tension between Edward and his family was all to clear, as Thomas felt himself being squeezed away from Edward and the conversation at hand, as the friction of the heated atmosphere grew larger and larger, pushing Thomas to the side lines, to feel merely as a spectator, or a witness of the turn of events.

Thomas had a suspicion that this was what the family was like when they were getting on, and the adventure, was in fact, was yet to begin.


	2. New rules

Bring a tea cup to her face; she blew away the rising steam, before turning her attentions back to the two men sitting in front of her, wishing dearly that they weren't her problem.

"well, I _suppose_ this man can stay on to assist you, but you really should have consulted me first before bringing a _stranger _into my home" She spoke sternly, whilst aggressively bashing the cup and saucer, as they collided together in one swift movement.

_My doctor is hardly a stranger to me, it's not like I'm bringing an unacquainted psychopath into the house..._

Raising a hand to silence the words forming in Edward's mouth, she spoke again.

"but you must understand that you have been away from us for a while, and situations have..._altered_, as it were." she said pointing towards his face "And you must accept that it can never be as it were before, and that your life will have to change..."

Edward's face darkened at her words, anger forming below the surface.

She continued, oblivious to his reaction.  
_  
Bloody hell, he might as well be invisible..._

"That's why I have created a few new ground rules and adaptations to _our_ previous lifestyle...all there to be of help to _you_, of course..."

* * *

"She's never liked me! I knew she was planning to shaft me out the way, the minute I walked through the door! Didn't I tell you Thomas, didn't I tell you she was an evil hag!"

Edward screeched, waving his hands around dramatically, as he searched for the bed, slumping himself down upon it violently, making the posts shake.

Thomas looked at him with sad eyes knowing that, for once, he was not over-exaggerating the scenario. His words caught in his mind as he remembered all the times he had read him letters at the hospital, and how all those times Edward had implied that his family was 'out to get him'. And even though he took all this with a pinch of salt at the time, being aware of his depression, it pained him to suddenly realise that every feeling or thought he made to Thomas, currently had the evidence behind it to be made true.

"Do you know why she's put me in a new room, when my old one was perfectly fine? Why she's put us side by side, at the far, shabbier end of the house which hardly anyone ever goes to? It's because she's wants me completely out of the way! Out of her life! She wants to pretend that her _socially embarrassing_ cripple son doesn't exist, by having me completely taken care of at every time, so I never have a reason to leave the room. I bet she's been looking for an opportunity like this for years! I mean, I know I was never the favourite...But this is ridiculous!" Edward huffed furiously, stepping dangerously close to the grounds of hysteria.

Crawling onto the bed, Thomas leaned forward to arch his body over Edward's, cupping his face in his hand, then sweeping it across his cheek, to run a thumb lightly over his lips, keeping it there as he spoke.

"Sshh, it's going to be alright. And you know why, because _I love you_, and loves enough to get us through any situation life throws at us, no matter how evil the hag is..."

Thomas trailed his hand down to Edward's neck, before bringing it up once again, gliding his palm up to his forehead. Stroking his hair back, he bent down to kiss him gently where his hand had once been on his neck.

When he was suitably calmed down, Thomas slid off the bed, reaching towards Edward's suitcase, to start unpacking his things. Although, for the first time in his life, not because he _had_ to do it, because it was the duty of his job, but because he loved Edward, and wanted to take care of him.

"I just can't believe the extent she went to, just too get me out the way!"

Edward scowled, not taking well to the fact his mother had actually decided to _BUILD_ a door between two guest bedrooms, just so he would never be wondering around the house unattended, _or at least that's what she hoped would happen._

"Could be worse" Thomas smirked, looking at the door joining their two rooms.

* * *

**A few hours later...**

Unpacking his own belongings into the various cupboards and draws, Thomas couldn't help but hope he wouldn't be spending to much time in his own room.

Returning to Edward's room, he could see him standing by the window. On first sighting, he thought that he must be looking at something outside, but then remembering he was blind, he dismissed the idea entirely.

_Unless he's putting it on, faking being blind, hah that really would be a turn out for the books...!_

Creeping up to him quietly, he wrapped his arms around the back of his body, embracing him from behind, snuggling his nose into his back.

Edward smiled at the warmth and the closeness of Thomas' body.

"Ay, what you looking at crazy?" Thomas said gesturing towards the window, even though he knew that Edward could not see his movements.

"Oh, I was just enjoying the warmth of the sun on my skin" Edward said, turning, still intertwined in the hug, so that the fronts of their bodies were touching.

"Eh, you must be starvin' love, what time do you have dinner around here?"

"I don't know, I was expecting someone to come and get us when its time to dine. If memory serves me correct, then we should have already started eating" he said, with a confused frown forming upon his brow.

"_We_?" Thomas said sceptically.

"Of course we! I'm not having my lover dining downstairs with a bunch of strangers, when he should be upstairs with me! Besides, your my doctor, your _hardly_ just a servant any more." he said, flashing a cheeky smile.

"If they want to have me eating with them, then their going to have to have you too! And if they don't like it, then they can stick it up their jumper! Okay _tomtum._.." he continued, a wicked grim forming on his face, feeling rather proud of himself for his lack of conversation manners.

His smile grew, as he heard Thomas start to breathe a little heavier, hoping that his face had become flushed red, at the use of his nickname and the suggestion of mingling with his family. It was so hard to draw an open emotion, other then caring love out of Thomas, that Edward relished in the moment he did every time.

Intruding into his mind, came the thought that, like many in life, maybe Thomas had been hurt badly by someone special, at some point in his life, and this could be the reason for his struggling to show true emotions and get close to people.

_A broken surface, paved over, to cover up the damage lying beneath. Hiding the hurt from the world with a brave face._

It saddened him that he'd never get to see his brave face, and the beauty within his strength.

Breaking his thoughts, Thomas began to speak.

"c'mon, I'll walk you downstairs to the dining room or sum'thin', see where everybody is and you can ask when you gonna get fed" he said with a friendly poke to his stomach.

Holding lightly onto Thomas' arm, they began to make their way out of the room.

"but-" Thomas started, pausing Edward at his side, whilst they stood outside the door in the hallway.

"I can't eat dinner with you and your family, no matter what you say, its not my place and it wouldn't seem..._right_. Not yet anyway. I think ill skip dinner tonight, jus' so I don't cause a fuss in the natural order of things"

With a sigh of approval, Edward complied to his wishes with a nod of his head.

* * *

As they neared the dinning room, the sound of voices talking grew louder with each step.

Freezing at the door, Edward's face tightened with troubled concern.

"Surely they can't be-" Edward muttered under his breath, his voice tailing off, as he pushed open the door.

He entered the room briskly.

All talk stopped.


	3. A Blessing in Disguise

His mother froze in her chair, her entire body tensing up, as Edward walked over to stand at the foot of the table.

"What are you doing?!" Edward said, nearly shouting, only just managing to keep his voice under control.

"Edward, _darling_, I forgot to tell you earlier..." his mother said stiffly through clenched teeth.

"Don't 'darling' me, when I've walked in to find you eating without me!"

"Edward!" she bit back fiercely. "Don't take that tone with me. And we can eat whenever we like, this is _my_ house, not yours, so you will kindly hold your tongue and mind your manners. This is a dining room, not some, some...grotty hospital!" she growled.

This time, Edward could hold his frustration no longer and roared in retaliation.

"I ONLY BLOODY ASKED WHY YOU WERE EATING WITHOUT ME! OR DID YOU FORGET ABOUT YOUR INJURED SON, WHO WAS BLINDED FIGHTING FOR KING AND COUNTRY"

Mouths gawped open, even gaining a reaction from his statue like father, who shared in the look of shock from the latter statement. Silently, his parents sat horrified, looking like they might just die from disapproval.

"What did you say?" his mother's voice came out faintly, obviously still recovering from his words.

Nevertheless, her voice recovered fast, and now it was her time to loose control, as she shrieked:

"what did you just say? How _dare _you use foul language like that in _my_ home, in _my _dining room, during _my_ dinner! What right have you got to come storming in here, showing no courtesy what so ever? We can eat whenever we like, and don't need to consult or invite you! Why can't you just be more like your brother Jack, he would never give a holy show like this! Now get out" she ordered, standing up and throwing her napkin on the table.

"NO!"

"Edward, do as I say, or so help me god, I'm going to do something unforgivable, and might just cast you out this instant, if you don't change your attitude! Do you know the huge favour and sacrifice we're doing you by _letting_ you live here?"

"I've always lived here! This is my home! Now tell me why you've decided to eat without me" Edward said manically, gritting his teeth and squaring his jaw as he spoke.

Some how, his father still sat like rock, paralyzed to his chair.  
_  
Maybe he's dead?_

With a large sigh, she attempted to calm her tone, knowing that he would most likely kick off when he had heard what she had to say. The final new rule. And she wasn't prepared to give him the privilege to arguing about it this time.

"You're not eating with us any more." she said matter-of-factly, preparing to make her excuse. "it's going to be too much of a bother getting you up and down the stairs, and it would just be easier for all of us if you eat up there with your man. From now on, I'm going to have two trays sent up there every night"

Edwards jaw nearly dropped to the floor, hardly able to believe his own ears.

And with that she strode over, ushering him towards the door with her hand and pushing it open to reveal an eavesdropping Thomas, standing with his ear inclined towards the space where the wood would once have been.

"Take Edward upstairs right now! I'll tell Gregson to send you both up a tray."

And with that, the door was slammed shut.

* * *

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Edward attempted to control his breathing. Meanwhile, Thomas was in the shared on-suite bathroom, which happened to lead off of Edward's bedroom, rather than between the two rooms, meaning when ever he needed the loo he would have to walk through his room. _Hardly the worst thing in the world._

Thomas bent over the bathtub to turn the taps, dipping his hand into the water every so often to check it was the right temperature.

Walking into the bedroom, Thomas stopped to lean against the arch of the door, as he looked at his physically, and now mentally wounded lover on the bed.

Sitting slumped on the mattress; Edward held his head in his hands, letting out a deep sigh every so often. He looked up at the sound of Thomas entering the room, his eyes almost pleading, as if hoping Thomas would have something to say to make everything feel better.

Thomas knew that there was nothing he could say to make him feel completely alright about the earlier events, but he could at least try.

Sitting beside him, Thomas reached an arm around his body, pulling him into a sideways cuddle.

"I know it hurts Edward. What she said was wrong, and I'm sorry that that happened to you but...but..." Thomas sighed, taking a deep breath, "but maybe it's for the best. A blessing in disguise perhaps?"

Edward looked up to meet his eyes, not looking convinced.

_I don't blame him._

Thomas continued regardless.

"I think it's probably good that you spend as little time as possible with your mother. Would you really enjoy eating with her everyday? That woman's a nasty piece of work if ever I saw one." Thomas said in hushed tones, giving a shake of his head as he spoke.

"I know, it's just, that way she said it. Y'know? How she openly pushed me aside, openly cut me out of her life, not that I wanted to be part of hers but...I mean, I'm her son god damn it! I just...I mean-" Edward mumbled solemnly, his voice breaking off and dragging to an undignified end.

Together they sat in silence, feeling the comfort in the loving atmosphere.

Taking Edward's hand in his own, Thomas stood up slowly, gently tugging to show Edward to do the same.

"c'mon, I've ran you a bath. It'll help you relax" Thomas said softly, giving his palm a light squeeze.

Upon entering the room, Thomas turned off the running water and partially emptied the contents of a tub of bubble bath into the hot water.

After stirring it around, Thomas turned to Edward. He was pulling at his army shirt, struggling to find and undo the buttons. Now standing opposite him, Thomas reached across to help, taking each fastening gently in his hand and slipping it out of the hole. He was nearly half way down when he felt a pair of hands feeling around his stomach and soon mirroring his motions.

He stopped briefly at the touch of Edward's hand brushing against his chest, feeling the colour rise in his cheeks, as he guiltily longed for more. They continued until both of their shirts were undone.

Pulling, Edward discarded the Corporal's unwanted shirt onto the floor; Thomas swiftly following suit. For a moment both men stood in front of each other, both unsure of what to do next. They had kissed and hugged, yes, but had yet to have the privilege of feeling one another's skin against their own.

Almost as if reading Thomas' mind, Edward bent his head down to lightly place a kiss of his upper chest. His touch sent shivers down his spine and goosebumbs across his skin.

Although Thomas had been close to men before, he had never properly loved, making his every experience with Edward feel unique, with the strange sensation of his heart being touched for the first time, unleashing his virginal soul, allowing their two spirits to become intertwined.

* * *

The water was warm and pleasant as it surrounded his body. It had been so long since he had last had the pleasure of bathing that it was nice to combine the two special moments, although worlds apart in difference, into one seemingly perfect memory.

They were sitting opposite each other, each at the far end, letting their legs become entangled in the middle of the bath. Lifting a leg out of the water, Edward ran the toes of his foot up Thomas' chest and onto his jaw. Placing a delicate kiss on his foot, Thomas ran a hand up his leg to rest on his inner thigh. He felt Edward shudder under his touch. Climbing forward, he let Edward's leg slip back down, as he rearranged his body to lie on top of the lieutenant's, resting his head on his shoulder. Wrapping his arms around his back, Edward drew him closer, to maximise their closeness.

An hour passed of just relaxing in the water, broken up every few minutes for another kiss, before Thomas decided to speak.

It was fair to say the day hadn't gone as well as intended, but Thomas was determined to give the night a calm and peaceful end, and have the next day go with no further upset or insult; knowing he couldn't let the tomorrow go to ruins as well. If Edward was occupied and accompanied by him, there would be less room for disaster; and luckily, remembering their hospital days which already seemed so distant, Thomas knew just the activity to keep him busy.

"Fancy a walk tomorrow?"


	4. Surprises

A/N:Sorry for a really late update this week, I've had an exam, and I have another one next week so there might be another slow update (boo hiss), and I can't fail because otherwise I'll live in a trash can and be homeless and it'll be really sad. So thanks for your patience!

* * *

A slither of offending light crept through the gap in the certain. The room was silent apart from the sound of Edward's steady breaths hitting the side of Thomas' neck. For the first time in at least a month he look truly relaxed, his face smooth, reflecting every aspect of tranquillity. His flesh radiated warmth as it passed through into Thomas' skin, heating up his back as it pressed firmly onto Edward's front.

The bed was cosy and warm, something Thomas had never had the pleasure to experience very often in his life; and especially not with a beautiful man which was all his own, he thought proudly as he admired the twisted covers cocooning their naked bodies.

Untangling his limbs from Edward's, he unwrapped himself from the surrounding blanket and slid out of bed, making sure not to disturb his lovers sleep. Especially not when he was planning a surprise.

Putting on his clothes he crept out of the room, across the house, and down to the servants' stair case. He was fairly certain he wouldn't see anyone as he had gotten up at an ungodly hour, just so he didn't receive any unwanted attention from lowly servants.  
_  
__After all, I am a doctor providing live-in support. Edward's right, I'm hardly just a servant now. Don't want anyone thinking we're on the same level..._

In all honesty, he had been planning his surprise for quite sometime, so was fully prepared. Well, nearly fully prepared. All he was missing was the food.

_How hard can it be to grab a bit a food?_

Reaching for the handle to the pantry, he opened the door and walked inside. After successfully gathering all the necessary ingredients, and putting them in his specially acquired picnic basket, he was feeling rather proud of himself when he heard quickly approaching footsteps.

The door flung open, nearly breaking off the hinges.  
_  
__Christ!_

"Ay! You! What you doin' in me pantry? Who is you anyway? You got no business snoopin' through me food. Ge' out!" bustled a large women, with a naturally flushed face, who looked like she might just be a relation of Mrs. Patmore. Thomas contemplated asking if she was a sister, but quickly decided against it when his words got stuck in his throat and he found himself uncharacteristically nervous.

"I-er-I-was jus' getting som' food" Thomas began pathetically lifting up the basket and glancing towards it.

She stood still waiting for an extension on his excuse.

"-for a picnic. I'm taking edwar-err...Mr. Courtenay out for the morning on a walk, I thought it would be er...nice? Surprise I mean. For him. To go out. On a walk. Like he used to in the hospital."

_Bugger I'm messing this up. I'm meant to be good at lying and explaining myself! How embarrassing!_

She didn't look entirely convinced.

Well I am a stranger. Maybe she thinks I'm stealing. She could think I'm an intruder! Or a hobo taking things.

No. No, That's ridiculous. I'm far to good looking and well turned out to be a hobo...

But why does she look like she has no idea who I am.

Oh because I never said...

"Oh, I'm his doctor! I've just come here to work for him."

To this her angry crumpled face softened with understanding_. [And because she knows a superior when she sees one]_ Well as soft as a face that ancient with kitchen grease _can _smooth out.

To this she let him pass, and designated an area for him to prepare the food, saying to Thomas' surprise, and almost shock, how she 'wasn't aware Edward had come back'.

_I mean, yes, they were hardly going to let kitchen staff stand at the door to greet him, but surely someone would of mentioned it. Everyone knows how much servants gossip. Does no one care that my Edward's returned home, after fighting in the war?_

* * *

Tip toeing up the stairs and back into the room, Thomas was glad to see Edward's sleeping form still asleep. He didn't want to wake him up. Slipping out of his clothes, he got back into the bed, re-instating his body under the covers like it was before, hoping to make it seem like he had never left. And anyway, even if he was itching to show Edward his surprise, it was still very early, and many of the servants would still be in bed, so it would have to wait. Not that lying on a big posh bed (posh for a servant at least), along side a beautiful lover was hard to endure.

* * *

Edward awoke to find himself nakedly interlocked in Thomas' arms. His face was pressed up against his chest, and he could feel the soft hair on his abdomen tickling his cheek and face. He squeezed his arms tightly around him, feeling a smile wash over his face.

"Edward?" Thomas whispered quietly into his hair, running a hand up and down his arm.

"Edward are you awake?" he asked again softly.

"hm? Oh hello" Edward said with a grin looking up "yes I am awake. Why, were you hoping to run away and leave me?"

Thomas let of a small laugh and bowed his head down to place a soft kiss on his forehead.

Removing his arms, Thomas sat up, and looked down at Edward.

"Does sir need some assistance getting dressed?" Thomas asked in a playful voice, bending down again to kiss Edward's mouth. His lips felt delicate as they pressed against his own, and Edward let himself relax, moving his mouth and leaning forward to deepen the kiss. The once tender peck on the lips progressed rapidly. As their mouths moved closer together, the fiery passion grew stronger, overwhelming their senses in the heat of the moment, as the desire for further romantic transgression increased.

Pushing Edward to lie on his back, Thomas sat on top of him, straddling his waist, as he thrust his face forwards to continue their previous action. Growing rougher, Thomas let his tongue slip past Edward's lips and into his mouth. The sensation of another's tongue in his mouth was unknown and unexplored, and the experience was proving to be strangely exhilarating as the corporal once again skimmed against him, sending a cold, but pleasant, rush across the entirety of his body, shuddering with excitement.

As the kiss eventually came to a close, Thomas finally relaxed, collapsing across Edward's chest, his body moving up and down as he attempted to control his breath.

When they had both regained composer, Thomas took Edward by the hand and led him into the bathroom. Standing on the cold floor, Edward could hear Thomas fumbling around behind him in the cupboard under the sink, then turning on the tap to dampen a cloth, and touching it to Edward's skin.

Washing away all evidence of their affections, they stood in front of each other once again, before swooping their arms around one another to embrace lightly, resting their heads together, as the water trickled across their skin and dripped onto the floor creating a puddle at their feet.

* * *

"But where are we going?" Edward questioned curiously.

"Ah you'll have to wait and see. And anyway, it's not _where_ we're going it's _what_ we're doing there that matters" Thomas replied cheekily.

As they walked further and further, the estate in the distance drifted away to become nothing more than a mere spec in the distance, the place they had come from appearing a faded mirage, holding no past nor memories.

Setting down the basket on the ground, Thomas stopped. Luckily Edward hadn't noticed the hamper in his left, injured hand, as the lieutenant held tightly onto his right, letting Thomas lead the way. Although, if he had realised Thomas was in possession of an object, he hadn't let on to show that he knew.

Unlatching his hand from Edward's grip, he bent down to the basket at his feet to retrieve the chequered picnic blanket within. Taking a few steps away, he laid it out gently on the floor, taking care to smooth out any creases or folds. Just as he began to unpack the food, Edward perked up to ask, whilst attempting to move towards him:

"What are you doing Thommy? Do-"

"oi! Stay there!" Thomas said interjected hurriedly, halting his movements, and taking a brief pause to make sure he had complied with his instructions, he went on "I can't tell you that, it's a surprise silly! Now wait there until its time to find out."

Continuing with his earlier task, he went on to lay out all the foods on the plates Mrs. Kitchen lady had given him, until it was all suitably presentable. He hoped that he was putting on a picnic even Mr. Carson would be impressed by.

Rising off his knees to stand, he rambled over to where Edward was standing a metre away.

Holding him gingerly, he drew him down to kneel by the corner of the cloth. Placing a hand over top of Edward's he guided it towards the food, controlling his movements.

"You wanna know what your surprise is? Then you'll have to guess! C'mon, feel..."

Moving his hand, he directed it at a bottle wine. As Edward ran his fingers along the stem, he crumpled his face quizzically, deep in thought.

"No? Okay well what about this then..."

Thomas looked around for something more guessable.

Leading Edward's forefinger to a small chocolate cake, he traced it along the icing. He let out a slight gasp in confusion and bewilderment to the unidentified texture. But before he could say anything, Thomas was drawing his hand towards his mouth. Tenderly running his tongue over the icing, he licked Edward's finger and ran it along his lower lip, before placing a quick kiss on it, and finally reuniting him with control over his own limbs.

Edward looked dumbfounded, lost for words, as he tried to work out what had just happened.

Not that Thomas was willing to give him much of a chance to realise what was going on. Before Edward could get his thoughts straight, Thomas was already scrapping more icing off the cake onto his own finger, and bringing it slowly towards his face. Easing Edward's mouth open with his thumb, he placed the finger inside the lieutenant's mouth. It didn't take long for him to eat the icing and realise the answer Thomas was waiting for.

"Cake?" Edward smiled excitedly.

Thomas gave a small grin.  
"Yes, expand on that and you'll have your answer! Then maybe I'll let you eat it."

"Food?

"..then again maybe not..." Thomas teased, with a smirk forming on his face.

Striking him suddenly like a bolt to the head he beamed in reply:  
"Outside food? Picnic! Oh Thomas you remembered what I said all those months ago...that I wished we could go outside together and have a picnic" Edward said erratically, swinging his arms around Thomas and dragging him into a hug.

* * *

Eating together, they fed off each others words, letting the hours pass and escalate until they had been outside a few hours, enjoying one another's company until it was eventually time to retire to their rooms.

As they made their way through the halls, they elapsed past Edward's mother ordering a bunch of servants to prepare rooms and giving timed instructions.

Almost like she could sense their silent presence behind her, she spun around to face Edward.

"_Darling_, just to let you know, Jack is coming home on leave tomorrow at 12 o'clock sharp, so make sure you look presentable," she said with a pointed glare towards Thomas.

"Apparently he's bringing a surprise!"


	5. Family Rivals

**a/n: sorry about another late update, oh and thankyou to everyone who reviews and follows this, it means a lot to me, and really brightens my day to see a review :D**

* * *

Walking down the stairs, Thomas and Edward made their way down to the entrance hall. Much like the day they first arrived, all the servants where lined up, awaiting Jack's arrival at the front door. Although unlike the time before, they were inside, as according to Edward's mother: _'Jack couldn't possibly be made to stand around and greet everyone out in the cold.'_

_It's hardly cold; it's summer for Christ sake!_

Edward felt his legs ache as he continued to stand, tilting his head slightly to the side, and gently prodding Thomas in the arm.

"How long have we been standing here? She said that he would be here at 12 sharp, and I made sure we walked down the stairs at the last possible moment to save us from the never ending wait!" Edward whispered harshly over his shoulder.

Thomas sighed heavily as he brought up his arm to look at the watch on his wrist.

"Nearly 12.40" Thomas replied wearily.

They continued to stand for another 15 minutes, Edward feeling himself being driven into a slow insanity, as he was forced to listen to the constant drivel coming from his mothers lips, irritating him with her endless cooing about how much she missed her _'daring little boy'._

"Ah! I just heard the car pulling up the drive. Gregson quickly, fetch the door!" Edward's mother screeched merrily, waving her hands about in excitement.

As the door opened, a man strode in confidently, with an attractive women hanging off his arm. He had a relaxed open face and a bright easy smile. Unlike Edward, he had a muscular build, and strong squared jaw, accompanied by straight brown hair, several shades darker than Edward's, messily swept to the side of his head. Waltzing into the centre of the room, it was easy to see how different the two brothers really were. It was fair to say, Jack was gorgeous, but all Thomas saw when he looked at him was the damage and upset he had inflicted upon Edward. He looked calm and collected, but had an air to his persona which gave off a sense of power and authority, which was willingly received by deep blushes and giggle from maids in return.

"Mother!" Jack said with a subtle American accent playing in his voice, as he rushed up to her in delight, arms still interlinked with the girl by his side.

"Darling" she responded, but this time with no bitter edge to her words, nor any hidden sarcasm within her tone, like she did when she spoke to Edward. All that was there was genuine love and respect.

Thomas felt his body tense with anger at the sight before him.

After a loving embrace Jack pulled away and looked down at the currently unknown girl.

With a triumphant smirk, he introduced her:

"Mother, I'd like you to meet my _fiancée_, Lady Cornelia Elphinstone."

Cornelia blushed as he placed his arm around her waist and squeezed her side. As warm blush flooded her cheeks, as Edward's mother nearly swooning with glee.

_Buggery bollocks! He just had to be engaged to an aristocrat! An aristocrat! It's bad enough him having a fiancée making me look even more like the 'spinster son', but a bloody blue blooded noble as well!_

Jack shot Edward a menacing smirk, disguised as a half-smile, as he walked over to his brother, leaving his fiancée to get acquainted with his mother.

Standing at a healthy distance between the two of them, but still close enough to speak, he began to talk:

"Hello Edward, I didn't know you were back already, oh but of course you are! I forget sometimes that you're 're not still honouring your country by fighting in the war-" He let out a laugh of amusement before continuing with his speech.

"-But then I look down at my new lieutenants' uniform and remember-"He gave another forced laugh for effect, as Edward glared miserably at the floor. "-you chickened out! Caught off guard by a gas bomb my arse!"

Edward lifted his head to give him a furious look, but before he could say anything, Jack had already begun to ask:

"Who's this Edward?" He said with a few step towards Thomas so that they were uncomfortably close, a huge difference from before where they might have well of been on opposite sides of the room.

He gave Edward another devious smile, but before he could say anymore, they were all cut off from their thoughts by Edward's mother who came striding over to them.

"Ah, I see you've said hello to your…_brother_, and his er…_man_." She said with a strained tight-lipped smile. "Why don't we all go into the drawing room and we can all catch up over some tea."

* * *

It seemed strange to think that the atmosphere was somehow even more awkward then the day they arrived. Unlike before, they now appeared to be expected to join in with the conversation, with Jack saying anything that would draw the humiliation out of Edward. On the surface it would look perfectly innocent, just a family having a conversation, but every now and then Jack would give Edward a deceitful smile, before winding him up with a question or statement he already knew the reaction to. He seemed to take pleasure in the pain he inflicted, which seemed bizarre to Thomas as he knew they were in a feud of some sort, but to continue it when he hadn't seen Edward in so long, when everything had changed for him just seemed cruel. And not just an annoyed _spit in Bates'_ tea cruel, but evil cruel. And although Thomas had never been keen on admitting that anyone could cause his confidence to falter, whether to himself or otherwise, seeing the agitation Jack was casting on Edward made him feel undeniably uneasy.

"I'm just so glad to be back-" Jack said with a glance, smiling at Lady Cornelia, "and I'm so happy that I've finally been able to introduce you to my wonderful fiancée!"

To this Cornelia gave a rosy coloured blush, as she looked at her knees shyly, obviously flattered by the statement. She was a pretty woman, not that Thomas was naturally wired to detect female beauty, but he could safely say that she was indeed beautiful. He expected that when he told Edward about this it would annoy him even more, not that he wanted to marry or be with a women, but because to his brother it was like a status symbol, like being in possession of a desirably object and feeling proud as everybody '_oohs_' and '_awwhs_' in admiration. And from what he had seen and heard of jack so far, he was now certain that beneath his love was a selfish reason.

Lady Cornelia had dark mahogany hair which was curled lightly and twisted round to the side to sit on her shoulder. She had light porcelain skin and deep green eyes, accompanied by light pink lips to match the colour of the natural blush flustering her cheeks. She was clearly quite the prize, a perfect show piece for the perfect life Jack was most likely going present. She was the type of girl which would kill every guy in sight with jealousy, which was most likely what Jack was hoping to happen to Edward, _[Like that's going to happen]_ and he was most likely hoping for success in his envy making, especially as she was so attractive she could give even Lady Mary a run for her money.

As he spoke, she looked up to flash a loving, almost flirty smile, before turning her head away to look pleasantly at Edward's mother. With all four of them lined up on the sofa it was hard to tell who this was directed too, but it was most likely Jack. Although it struck Thomas as odd as it didn't look like it was directed at him, for look was too distant, and her fiancée's head was turned to face Edward's mother on the opposite seat at the time.

"We're just so happy for you both!" Edward's mother squealed with joy, cupping her hands and bringing them to her face, as she looked at the happy couple.

"Well someone had to be the first to get married, and as it didn't look like it was going to be Edward, I thought I might as well go ahead." Jack said with a smirk.

"Unless…Edward's engaged to be married?" Jack questioned, already knowing the answer.

"No…he isn't" His mother replied as she frowned irritably across the coffee table at Edward.

Edward kept his head ducted down, as he tried to block out their words, and pretend he was anywhere other than the room he was in.

"Come to think of it, Edward hasn't courted a girl in years. We should really start fixing him up with some potential women…" Edward's mother said, speaking as if he weren't even in the room.

Edward continued to scowl at the floor.

"Actually" Jack began "Edward's never courted a girl. Although, it's hardly surprising he's never got any nibbles" Jack said as he raised a hand to gesture it up and down Edward's body beside him. "In normal circumstances it's highly unlikely he'd find anyone now.

"Oh but what will we do?" His mother said with a hand to her mouth, almost looking like she cared, before dispelling the illusion of love with a more self centred comment. "If Edward doesn't get married soon then people are almost certainly going to talk. We can't have people thinking that's there something wrong with our family!"

Jack leaned back on his chair in ease, one arm resting on the back, the other waving off his mothers suggestion carelessly.

"Well these aren't normal circumstances. Plenty of girls have lost their lad in the war, and if they haven't, then are looking to find one quickly. This is war mother, those at their most venerable are looking for some security, and marriage tends to be a popular option." Jack said with a sly smile at Edward.

"Anyway, I'm sure Edward is dying to find a girl as pretty as mine"

"Yes, we'll have to start searching rather promptly, and you'll help of course, won't you Jack?"

"Of course!"

Edward felt his stomach churn at the thought of Jack 'match making' for him.

A few moments went past where no one said anything and the awkwardness of the quiet situation seemed to make everyone uncomfortable. Everyone apart from jack that is. Whilst his mother, fiancée, brother, and the mystery man, which he hadn't bothered to question the identity of quite yet, shuffled in their seats, he seemed to take pride in how he was already planning how to take control of the situation.

"Say Edward,-"

Edward looked up in surprise, not expecting to be directly talked to in the conversation.

"Who is this man you seem to be stuck to like glue?"

Edward looked momentarily enraged, knowing that his sibling was just looking to stir things up.

"This is Thomas Barrow my doctor and multifunctional live-in support" Edward said sternly, trying his best to hide the small smile that was creeping onto his face at all the different types of 'support' he could receive from Thomas.

"My, my, that's quite the title!" Jack chortled with a mocking laugh.

Glowering, Edward lifted his head up and turned to look at his brother.

"Oh yeah, and you'd know all about titles now that you have mine, isn't that right _lieutenant_!" Edward spat out.

Jack looked subtly amused at the reaction he was so easily gaining from Edward who was ready to erupt with anger.

"You're such a bloody arsehole!"

Edward's mother's face turned red with fury, as Lady Cornelia played up to her womanly stereotype of innocents, by nearly fainting with shock, as she lifted a palm to her forehead dramatically.

"EDWARD!" Mr. Courtenay bellowed, breaking out of his shell of stone, now looking directly at him.

_God I forgot he was even there._

"We did NOT raise you to use foul language like that!"

Edward's mother nodded in agreement, even herself, along with everyone else in the room, looking bewildered at the aging father joining the conversation at last.

Being the first to recover from the momentary fright, Jack smoothed out his face, as he began to speak:

"I'll have you know that I am not…_such things_, I just happen to have adapted to the American conversation technique; forward thinking and straight to the point, that's what they are, not afraid to get right on with what needs to be said." Jack announced with another triumphant smirk and a point of his finger, overly emphasising the new American accent he had arrived with upon entering the house.

"You have to admit that things have changed _dear brother_, I am not the man I once was, for I have improved, unlike _you_. So please do not take out your anger on me for lack of success in life" Jack said calmly, admiring his controlled response.

"Oh lose the accent you idiot" Edward sneered coldly.

Jack, not wanting to be bad mouthed by Edward, yet at the same time, not wanting to make a show in front of the family, especially his fiancée, chose his next words carefully.

"I'll have you know that I do not put on an accent. I spent a lot of time in the bustling cities of the US. I was there for nearly a year, right before the war. At least when questioned about what I did that year or my entire life even I'll have some stories to tell." Jack replied matter-of-factly.

Edward interjected sarcastically:

"Oh because the worlds _full_ of people asking what you did in 1913…"

Seeing the suffering atmosphere of the room, Cornelia perked up to try and move the conversation on to a lighter topic.

"Tell them about the time you were in New York Jack."

* * *

The conversation continued to go on like this for what felt like forever for both Edward and Thomas, feeling as if they might die as Jack forced them to listen to story after story of impressive adventures which would delight and amuse anyone other than them.

As Edward clambered into bed that night, his ears aching from the tales regaled by Jack, there was one thing he was sure of, that starting tomorrow he was ready to have some adventures of his own…


	6. Up the Spiral Staircase

a/n: Long time, no chapter! I'm really sorry for the huge break from writing both this and my other story, I've had loads of stupid exams and crap like that at school so haven't had the time for an update, also I would have put a message in the story description but I'm maxed out on characters. Also this chapter is so freakin long I had to divide it into 4 chapters, but hopefully that will make up for the lack of story recently? Oh oh and sorry that I haven't been putting which character view point the story is in, they just seem to have merged together, but I will try and make it clearer in future! I had something else to say but I can't remember what it was…? Well whatever it was it doesn't matter. Yeah so thanks guys for your continued support, and favourites, follows, reviews, feedback, and all that jazz, it means a lot to mean. Okay I think that's my excuses over. Love you. Oh wait no I remembered! This was meant to be a more cheerful chapter but Edward just wouldn't shut his face and stop talking about the war and generally being depressing. Well never mind. What more can you expect from him?

* * *

_~Edward~_

The carriage rattled as the train roared down the track. He could feel the shaky vibrations wobbling his seat and pulsing through his body as he jittered side to side and up and down next to Thomas. The carriage was especially rough that day, but maybe this was the norm for lower class tickets, as Thomas sat beside him unfazed by the quality of the journey. Edward felt his stomach tie itself in knots as their shoulders crashed together at every turn and their spines flung backwards to collide with the back of the chair at every stop. Edward couldn't remember a time when he had felt more shaken up. Actually no, that was a lie, he could remember. He just didn't want to. That part of his life which was only a small space of time ago but already felt so distant, yet at the same time so close, hiding in the foreground of his life threatening to jump out of the darkness at any minute. It was hard to believe it was less than a year ago, especially when nothing in his past had remained the same and everything had changed for him.

As his body continued to tremble, he winced at the thought. It felt strange to be surrounded by war but no longer be a part of it, no longer fighting nor serving ones country; to be so connected to it, yet completely cut off.

Edward raised a hand to his face, subconsciously running his fingers along the sides of his eyes and around his temples. It had healed so much, according to Thomas far less visible, yet he still knew it was there, and he worst thing was, so did everyone else. It still felt there, and its not even like he could ever forget, pretend it didn't exist for a while because he was still blind, he was always going to be blind and that wasn't going to change, and he wasn't going to forget.

The shaking of the train felt remarkably similar to the jumbling bumps of the truck full of buys going out to die, speeding along the harsh, uneven terrain. He knew it was wrong to think, but at that time he had so much more hope for his life. He had a good army position, he had his sight, no one had any excuse to push him away and cut him out of his own life. It seemed so ironic how in the darkness of war he could see a light at the other end, but living with his family again, which would be perceived by everyone as considerably brighter, just seemed to be a dead end to his existence, a downward spiral of nothingness.

He promised Thomas the depression had gone away and that he just had the odd spot of sadness or anger only brought on by a situation, but that was a lie, and he was certain they both knew it.

He had felt excited about the mystery place Thomas was bringing him too when he said he was looking for some adventure, but now even being excited seemed to much like hard work.

_And what's the point anyway? It'll never compare to anything jacks done  
_  
"don't look so glum!" Thomas said giving his hand a light squeeze then retracting it back into his pocket, conscious of the surrounding bodies.

"You'll like it where we're going-" Thomas continued, pausing to take a long drag on the cigarette perched between his fingers in his other hand.

"-and you can bet your boots Jack's never been there or even gone to a place remotely similar" Thomas said reassuringly, the smoke exhaling from his mouth as he smoke.

"I bet he has" Edward grumbled fiddling with the buttons to his suit.

"Not unless there's something we don't know about your brother!" Thomas said with a hearty laugh as Edward continued to glare at his knees, confusion washing over his face.

* * *

"where exactly are we going?" Edward asked as he walked beside Thomas, being lead by the firm grip on his lower arm.

Thomas grinned and gave a playful laugh.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that"

"Y'know Thomas, I rather dislike to be kept out of the know. For all I know you could be leading me down some dingy alleyway where I'm destined to be stabbed"

"I happen to like dingy alleyways. All the best people know that the raciest fun happens in the dark of a mysterious street, or perhaps a sleazy backroom? Especially if you throw some money at the experience."

"You really are a foul minded individual Mr Barrow" Edward said in mock-disgust, his frown lightening to reveal a small smile.

"Or maybe you're just too much of a close minded, middle class, git?"

Before Edward could retort he was being lead by the hand up a small set of stairs and through a door. The sound of music, men and women quickly filled the air, bursting into his once silent world.

"Thomas have you taken me to-?"

Edward could tell the place was crowded as he felt bodies brush against his arms as he continued to be dragged through the walls of people by his upper arm.

They abruptly stopped as Thomas began to instruct him on the course which lie ahead.

"We aren't there yet, but we will be in a minute. Just one more stair case."

Edward groaned in protest.

"Eh, don't look at it as a chore; look at it as an adventure. A mysterious, exciting adventure. Don't blame me for trying to show you a good time when you're the one who requested it!" Thomas said mischievously, pinching Edward lightly on the arm.

"-And anyway you'll like this staircase…its spiral!"

"Of course, because that makes _all_ the difference" Edward mumbled sarcastically.

With each step they seemed to ascend higher and higher, the stairs appearing to just go on forever as they climbed up the infinitively curled metal structure.

Eventually they reached the top and Edward was amazed to find that it was almost like they were in a different building, the sounds of people fading away until they seized to exist, just leaving himself and Thomas in a silent corridor.

The corporal didn't bother to say anything, grabbing hold of his hand, noticeably tighter than the previous light handed grip.

Calmly they walked up the stretch of floor until they came to stop at what he believed to be a man standing at, or perhaps guarding, a door.

He heard Thomas quickly mutter something to the man and remove his hand to rummage in his pockets for some money.

They walked into the room. Just like when they first entered downstairs, the noise hit him immediately upon entering, going from silent outdoors to lively commotion. Except this time the commotion was coming from predominantly men.

Thomas led him to sit at a small table in the corner of the room as he went off to retrieve some drinks. Some minutes past of just sitting and listening to the sounds of the people around him. Edward imagined what they could be doing, every laugh or snippet of a conversation setting his imagination reeling with possibilities of what could be happening between the men he heard.

By now he had come to the understanding of where he probably was, although it all seemed so unreal, so surreal, like a fantasy or a dream. Yes it was most likely just some sleazy backroom of the heteronormative dance club, filled with drunken men leering and grabbing at each other in a dimly lit room; but it was more the fact that it was there, that it existed. He thought the concept of a bar or meeting place for men like him was nothing more than a myth, the whispered words of Eaton boys' back in school, the ones who would alleged to liking girls, masking their words and actions with the excuse of general curiosity. Yet here it was, and although he couldn't see the room, he didn't need his eyes to know and pick up on the atmosphere of where he was. Edward smirked slightly at the memory of a boy kissing him in the dorms back at school and using the reply '_just wanted to know what it felt like'_ before scuttling off down the halls.

He didn't even realise when Thomas had come back and placed a drink in front of him.

"How do you know about this place?" Edward asked inquisitively, still slightly bewildered at where he was.

"Hm?" Thomas said looking up from his drink "Oh from the war. It was when I was in the trenches, shellfire was particularly heavy one night, had been for quite a few actually, well anyway, that night we really did think it was the end, that we were done for, so we ended up just, sharing the last of our knowledge and wisdom, not wanting to take anything we know to the grave I guess."

Edward looked down at the table sadly.

"Had something happened to make everyone panicky, or was it just a build up of nerves" Edward inquired, grimacing at the memories of his army days. It seemed Jack coming home brought back the horrors and trauma filled moments of his war life with him. _Bastard._

"A few days before, one of the men we were all quite friendly with, _I mean I promised I wouldn't make friends_, _but I dunno this guy jus' had an infectious personality_;" Thomas said in hushed tones, more to himself than Edward, before continuing on at normal volume.

"yeah, so one day this guy was out in no mans land scraping bodies off the floor, and when he walked back over to the trench ladders, probably on his way back and finished for the time being…a shell hit him…pushed him forward so he fell into the ditch right where we were…well bits of him fell anyway" Thomas said with a humourless laugh, his voice sounding distant and eventually starting to shake. They had never talked about the war together, well not properly at least.

Edward felt a small twisting in his stomach, but not from the memories of war, but from the sad realisation that he _still_ didn't know much about the man sitting beside him. He didn't even know what he looked like for Christ sake! Thomas had always been reserved and shrugged off questions concerning his personal life and now here he was sharing the most disturbing events of his life.

Thomas' voice became weak and shaky as he went on, bringing Edward back to the conversation at hand.

"he was blown apart, limbs ripped of by the sheer force of the explosion, the entire lower half of his body obliterated" Thomas pointed a finger just below the lieutenants heart, prodding him as he dragged it down, signalling the area in speaking.

"From here down he was destroyed, nothing left but a bloody mess." Thomas said his voice growing weaker and weaker as he spoke.

Thomas was breathing so loud Edward thought he could actually hear the expanding and deflating of his lungs.

_Trust me to make the conversation depressing._


	7. The Man Behind the Mask

_~Edward~_

For a few minutes neither of them said anything, each taking in their horrors and experiences of war first hand. It seemed strange that both himself and Thomas had been directly affected, but never felt the need to talk about their actual experiences. It seemed even stranger that he had known Thomas for over a year, even been intimate with him, and done things he'd never done with another man, yet he had never even heard the story of how Thomas got his hand wound. He knew he had been shot, of course, but other details were still a huge unknown. On the other hand he knew very well the reasons why one would not want to talk to about the war, and he didn't need to see or even talk about personal matters to know that his scars were not only on his hand, but on his mind and heart as well.

Edward felt tears beginning to well up at the corners of his eyes and stifled a cough to chock them down.

Thomas was a master of disguise. That he knew for sure. He was certain that the war had affected him so much more than he let on and felt a pang of guilt at the thought of how much Thomas supported him with his issues and problems, yet asked for no support of his own. Not even a shoulder to cry on. Mind you, he had known Thomas well enough to know that he was far too proud to cry, netalone let any human emotions show. Or at least he wouldn't when he thought someone might be awake to bear witness to the sound. He had heard Thomas cry. Cry in his sleep, mind tortured by a nightmare when he lie next to him in his bed. The occasional shaky voice when he needed to tell him something at the hospital. The sound of his heaving breaths and weeps on his nightly rounds whilst he sat at a desk at the far end of the ward, certain everyone was asleep. The memories flooded back. He always thought of the corporal as so strong, much stronger than he could ever be, but reflecting on his knowledge of the man, now he could see that he was, and still is, just as human as himself. Maybe even more so.

He recalled a conversation with nurse Crawley, when he was digging for information about him, how he had asked her:

_'What's corporal barrow really like, of duty I mean, when he's not so professional?'_

At the time she just laughed and replied:

_'What makes you think he's ever un-professional?! All I can say really is he likes to put up a good front and keep it all buried deep down.' _

And with that she walked away before explaining any further.

Only now could he see the words for there true meaning. Even the corporal, his Thomas, _my Thomas_, got scared.

Edward let out a humourless laugh which cut through the silence before letting the noiseless sound seep back and cloud through the quiet atmosphere once more. He heard a rustling sound, most likely Thomas fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Who told you about this place then?" Edward said hopefully, praying he could raise the mood yet again brought down the war, and actually get Thomas back to the original question he had asked.

"Oh, I heard about places like this from one of the guy's, said that he had been to a 'exclusively male bar' in Paris, _well that's what he called it anyway_, said there were quite a few there actually, not in England though. Said this place was the closest to it" Thomas said raising his hand to gesture around the room, even though Edward couldn't see his movements.

"so this isn't-"

Edward began before being cut off by Thomas, like he could read his thoughts and knew what he was going to say.

"Oh no, sorry this isn't an 'exclusively male bar', 'fraid we don't have them in England!" Thomas snorted lightly under his breath.

"Nah, this is more…how would I describe it…'_a sleazy backroom' _fullfor people wanting to do dodgy deals, and couples wanting to keep their illicit relationships away from scandal-hidden in the dark as it were"

Edward crinkled his nose up in disapproval.

"Wait, so is there men _and_ women here, whilst men are…showing affection- physical affection!" Edward asked incredulously, his eyes becoming large at the thought "and other people are indulging in illegal activities, in the same room, with ladies present?!"

Thomas snorted again unabashedly.

"I'd hardly call them ladies. Most of them have probably been around a bit by the looks of things." Thomas said crudely. "They can't exactly be the most decent of women if their here trying to keep their relationships secret!"

Edward frowned at Thomas coarse description of the surroundings. Picking up on his disapproval Thomas attempted to justify his words.

"Not that I'm saying all of them are mistresses and whores,-" Thomas stopped. "Look will yer stop givin' me that look already!" Thomas said attempting a derisive expression, only to have his previous smirking smile break through onto his features.


	8. A Titleless Document

_~Edward~_

In all truth, Edward wasn't frowning at his words, not really, although maybe he would have in his right mind, he was too lost in his war time memories to fully focus on Thomas' words, and that was wrong. He knew it was wrong, the man who waits on him hand and foot deserves his full attention, but like always, life had got in the way of what he wanted, and what he felt was _right_.

How ironic it seemed that they had gone there to live in the now and all he could think about was the past. But with all the resent events, Edward couldn't help but cast his mind back to the past, and as much as he didn't want to admit it, there were still huge blanks of Thomas' life, hell there were even empty spaces to his personality and appearance which had been left untouched. Thomas' life was a title-less document which meaning was unknown, or a legal paper like a will, with dotted lines left empty so no one knows who the paper was regarding, or who had died. And although Edward felt he knew so little about what was going on in his own life, he knew even less about Thomas', and hardly anything about Thomas himself. Yet as they sat their together taking in the silence and the sounds of the rowdy men around them Edward still knew that he loved him, whoever he was, and that this man of mystery loved him back, and for the first time in an age Edward felt some peace of mind in the security that love was enough to keep them together and safe and that in the end nothing else really mattered, apart from the affection they share.

Edward smiled slightly at the thought as he felt Thomas' warm hand being placed over his leg, caressing the skin tentatively.

"Thomas?" Edward asked quizzitively raising his head up to point it at the man sitting next to him.

"What do you look like?"

"Pardon? What do I _look_ like?" Thomas replied taken back by the question.

"I mean, what you look like! I know it's a bit late to ask 'n all, its just I never asked so, I guess I'm asking now." Edward said raising his eyebrows in hope of an answer.

"-personally I think it's my right to know." Edward continued, "After all, if you're going to take me out to a club, sorry I mean '_sleazy backroom'_; I'd hate to think I have an ugly dance partner!" Edward said jokingly, lifting his mood.

"Oh well I'm afraid your not going to be dancing tonight as I'm frightfully ugly!" Thomas said playfully imitating Edward's middleclass accent.

Edward moved his hand up towards Thomas with the aim of giving him a light shove on the arm, but missed miserably, skimming his back with the edge of his hand, falling behind Thomas, who was perched on the front of the booth seat. Edward felt his skin flush with heat at his failed attempt at casual flirting.

Almost as if sensing his embarrassment, Thomas gave a mocking laugh, before tuning around slightly to pull Edward up by the top of his arm, dragging him slightly to relocate him to his own chair.

Regaining composer, Edward straightened out his suit jacket, and sat up rigidly, hoping he didn't look as pathetic as he felt, ready to reattempt conversation with the corporal.

"So, are you going to tell me how you look or am I going to have to force it out of you" Edward growled in mock-aggression, pulling his best fear worthy frown, initiating another bout of laughter Thomas.

Chocking down his amusement, Thomas raised his hands up in surrender, before bringing them to rest over the top of Edward's hands.

"_Ooh please don't force it out of me sir, I'll tell you anything, anything you want to know!" _Thomas said in a high, fearful voice, playing the part of a young soldier obeying orders from his superior.

"Anything?" Edward said in a tone that was new to Thomas, his eyebrow hitching up in curiosity, a sly smile playing on his lips.

"_Oh yes, anything sir, I mean, Captain. I tell you anything you want Captain Courtenay!"_

_Hm, I could get used to this…_Edward thought, smoothing out his features to hide the appearance of pleasure.

He began to bark out questions like they were orders.

_Always thought I'd make a good Captain!_

"Hair colour?"

"Black, sir!"

"Eye colour?"

"Light blue, sir!"

Edward creased his face in thought for a moment, building his mental picture of the Corporal, searching for all the elements of the image that were missing.

"Build? Skin colour? What's you hair like? What are your features like? Height? Um, oh just general things!" Edward said in a hurried rush, his words of the sentence merging together, and pouring our in an unorganised mess; their role-playing completely forgotten about in the increasing desire to know the man that sat beside him.

"Geez, yer don't ask for much do you!"

Now it was Thomas' turn to crumple in face in thought as he decided what to say. After a few seconds he replied.

"Um, well I s'ppose that I'm tall, taller than you anyway, 'bout 6ft; lean bodied, pale skin…O'Brien used to say that I had a '_ghostly pallor_'!" Thomas said laughing under his breath at the memory.

"Who's O'Brien?"

"Hm, what? Oh it doesn't matter, if you want to know, just imagine your mother, personality and appearance wise, with a curly tea cosy on her head"

Edward pulled a face of disgust.

"So where was I? Oh yes, so I have strong features; sharp sloping cheek bones, um I guess I have reddish-pink lips, basically tall, dark, and handsome… "

Thomas had continued to talk, but Edward was already miles away, imagining the man in front of him, and although he could not see him, he felt like he was observing far clearer than he ever would have bee able to before.

Lost in his thoughts, Edward felt himself slip into a dream like state…


	9. A Dream-Like State

_~Edward~_

_[He imagined the man before him, he tried to picture him where they were, but his mind had other ideas and transported him into another world. _

_He envisioned them under a tree, a tree so tall that it stretched up to the clouds, its leaves blooming with the most exquisite green foliage that he had ever seen, and off each of the many spiralling branches were clusters off bright blooming flowers, of rich royal purple, and deep blood red. And there they sat, backs pressed against the tree stump, Thomas with his arm wrapped around him, keeping him safe and covered from the world around; not that there was anything to fear in the Eden like surroundings, but Edward felt comfort in the act either way. He pictured himself rest his head tenderly on the corporals warm chest, letting his eyes linger across him warm flesh. He looked up at him, their eyes meeting as Thomas looked down to meet his gaze. In an ideal world he could see Thomas for all he was and all he had just said to be; and although the man with him met the description perfectly, he was somehow even more wonderful then the beautiful man Thomas had described. Their hands clasped as he rested his head against his heart. He pictured Thomas lifting him up to sit on his lap, and whisper softly into his ear: 'my heart only beats for you my love.'] _

Edward felt his cheeks redden and his hands become sweaty, praying to god real Thomas hadn't noticed.

_[As if the two worlds were linked, he became embarrassed by the knowing that it was not at the sentiment to Thomas' dreamlike statement, as lovely as it was_, _but the sudden realisation that they were sat under the tree naked. Thomas seemed none to fazed by this and ran his hands delicately through his hair, as he let out a soft moan of appreciation to the touch. Together they would sink to the floor, the grass tickling the skin of his back, as their mouths would melt together._

_And at that moment their entire existence was be perfect, no one in the world but them, their love, and their two hearts which only beat for each other._

_But like all good things, the dream would shatter and decay, and turn into a reality, where it was not only them in the world, and the perfection of his dream would shift into the remains of a bad memory. _

_Edward's eyes grew large at the sight of a younger jack standing above them, an evil smirk on his face; the untainted creation of his Eden transforming into an empty field of the farm. Their clothes were back and his perfect creature that was Thomas morphed into the body of his first childhood romance-one of the boys that were employed to work the farm-his happiness dissolving to become a constant fear. Constantly tortured by the knowing that jack knew.]_

Edward was shaken back to reality by two hands on his shoulder, knocking him out of his dream and out of his memory, and once again the world was black. The fantasy left him hot and excited in ways he would rather not mention and the flashback made him breathless, like all the air had been sucked out of the room, only leaving the fiery embarrassment of the awkward atmosphere he had just created.

Edward forced a smile and decided that he wasn't going to let jack ruin anymore special moments in his life.

"Care to dance Mr. Barrow?"

* * *

Edward was conscious of his clumsy movements but eventually tried to ignore all the times he kept stepping on Thomas' feet. Despite their inelegant style as they clutched onto each other, Thomas arms rested loosely over his shoulders, running his fingers up and down the back of his neck, swaying slowly back and forth; regardless of the bashes of other, probably drunken dancers, walking into them, in spite of the sounds of seedy people making illegal business deals; despite everything, it was still one of the most wonderful moments of his life, and at that particular time, Edward couldn't think of anywhere else he'd rather be, closing his eyes, as they gently rocked back and forth on their feet to the sound of the music which was barely audible over the crowd. In the face of everything, all the imperfections, that moment was perfect, and he wanted nothing more than to dance his life away in the arms of Thomas.


	10. Scandalous Secrets

_Edward's POV~_

Edward fidgeted on his chair awkwardly. He may have been blind, but he was well aware of who was in front of him-the first of the woman Jack had graciously offered to set him up with-Hilda Bushwood. Jack knew he would remember her, he was certain. Hilda lived in one of the next houses over to theirs, and she had always had a bit of a crush on him. She was an atrocious to say the least. Not only was she the "ugly sister", but she had an ugly personality as well. She literally had no redeeming features about her. And she was only the first on the list of the rest of the unpleasant suitors.

He heard Jack snort as she reached across the table to grab at his arm, shaking it about as she talked about her garden.

He and Jack had never got on well, and it didn't help that Jack _knew_ about him, and always reminding him of this fact. Edward knew that if Jack told his mother he'd be screwed, and what with Jack being the favourite child, she wouldn't question his word.

But there was no way he would let his mother force him into marriage, especially someone picked out by Jack.

#

It was early evening by the time he finished seeing all of the woman he had been arranged to meet, and he honestly thought he might just kill his brother.

_That bastard!_

Picking up his cane, he made his way out into the corridor. He heard Jack's footsteps following him behind, but he didn't want to talk to him, let alone acknowledge his existence right now. All he wanted to do was to go upstairs to his room and see Thomas. He had been on his own all day; he must have been getting terribly lonely without any company.

He heard Jack call his name, but he continued to shuffle along the floor regardless.

"You're even less likely to inherit if you don't marry!" he heard Jack call into the distance, after his retreating figure.

#

Edward stomped up the stairs and was surprised to find that he found it to his room on his own. Flinging the door open, he marched inside. He heard Thomas stand up and move towards him as he slammed it shut again.

He didn't even know why he bothered to stay a part of his family-it would be so much easier just to take off-there was nothing left here for him. His entire existence was just becoming more and more complicated, and as all the problems mingled, it became harder to separate them and find an easy fix.

He was angry, frustrated, let down, but as Thomas pulled him into a warm embrace, things didn't feel as bad, and he let his foul mood cool off and settle into something calmer.

#

_~Jack's POV~_

Mr and Mrs Courtenay sat round the small coffee table in the drawing room with Jack, discussing the current state of affairs in the family. Needless to say, Edward was top of the agenda on the list of things to speak about. In fact, he was the _only_ thing on the agenda, for he was the only problem troubling their facile life.

"I say we need to marry him off soon, otherwise it'll just make my-I mean his-life harder when I inherit the place, and he has nowhere to live." Jack said collectedly, bringing a brandy to his lips to take a sip.

"And especially now that he's blind, it's going to be even harder to find someone for him. And we need to get rid of that _Barrow man_ whose with him; we can't possibly be having actual _proof_ that he's incapable!" his mother agreed, irked at the entire situation.

Her ireful frown softened slightly into an expression only mildly resentful.

"I mean, I don't want him to be terribly unhappy, he's just so damn…_strange_"

"And difficult, don't forget difficult!" Jack supplemented enthusiastically.

"And that makes all of us look strange to the rest of the world! To our neighbours! Our friends! He certainly didn't get this peculiar attitude from me, why wouldn't he want to marry?"

_She really does have no idea!_

"When one _romantically fraternises_ with the servants, this sort of unusual behaviour is bound to happen in a child." The Gargoyle father muttered under his breath.

Mrs Courtenay shot him a deathly glare. He had mentioned the thing that must never be mentioned. The incident so scandalous even he shouldn't have known about it, let alone Edward. Yet still, they did all know, along with some of the older members of the servants.

It was a story which Jack knew well, had committed to memory in fact, for if it hadn't of happened, his life would have been very different.

_~~~~~~Secret back story~~~~~~_

It all started 27 years ago, 2 years before Edward was born, when Mrs Courtenay had an affair with one of the footmen. She hadn't been married long, only a few years, and they were yet to have any children. Their father, and Mrs Courtenay's husband, was never home very much, for he was always working on estates, dealing with the business side of Land Gentry. Herself and Godfrey-who wasn't nearly as boring and gargoyle like in his younger days-had always been a middleclass family, but it was only when Godfrey inherited the entire of his grandfathers land that they became comfortably middleclass. It annoyed Margret that even though they had money, it wasn't in_-the-family-money_; it was worked for money, earned money which was terribly working class.

She wanted to be a socialite, to have loads of genuinely rich, noble friends, but they could see through her lavish clothing, they could see that she wasn't one of them. She found that it proved to be rather difficult to make yourself known by the aristocrats; after all she wasn't _Lady Margret_, she was just _Margret-with-no-exciting-title._

So the first years of marriage were rather lonely, what with no rich friends (and there was no way she was going to make friends with other middleclass', she was trying to move up, not make herself even more firmly rooted to the social position).

This gave Margret plenty of time alone, with nothing to do, but she soon found something, or someone rather, to occupy her time with.

_"We shouldn't be doing this" Charles, the footman in speaking, (not that his name has any significance, because he's only a servant), said as he kissed Margret against her bedroom wall._

_"Oh it's fine Robert-"_

_"Charles" he corrected, slightly offended._

_"Fine, Charles then. My husband won't be home for hours. We've got plenty of time."_

In many ways, Margret Courtenay was a bit of a hypocrite. She would no longer have anything to do with her old, unworthy, friends, but she still deemed it suitable to bed the servants, just as long as no one found out.

Well, after nearly a year of their illicit affair, even Godfrey started to notice that his wife was starting to get a bit heavy around the waist, and he was pretty sure no amount of tea and scones could produce such a prominent bump on her belly.

As the months went on, it became more and more obvious that Margret was pregnant and not just fat.

_"I know you're pregnant." Godfrey said one day with a sigh across the coffee table one morning._

_Margret made a chocking sound, and scowled at him with a look of offence on her face. "What makes you say that?" She demanded, pulling at the front of her dress which gathered awkwardly at her growing stomach._

_Godfrey just frowned at her in return._

_"Don't play innocent with me! I know that you are with child, and the time has come when we must deal with this accordingly. Now," he said with a pause, putting his thoughts in order. "Was he…one of the servants?" This entire conversation was incredibly uncomfortable for him, and he never imagined that he would have to be having this conversation at all. Yet, still, despite the general embarrassment of his wife making love to another, he didn't really mind on an emotional level. Their marriage was really just one of convenience. He didn't really love her. Sure, they grew up together, and their two families saw each other all the time, but they were really just friends to him. Not that he'd ever tell Margret that. It's just, he never really felt that way or cared for people…like that._

_She huffed, before begrudgingly nodding her head._

_He took a deep breath._

_"Well, you've got to go and tell Gregson to fire him, make sure he has a good reference and doesn't tell anyone. Pay him off if needs be. And if you have to tell Gregson the situation to keep the matter quiet, do so."_

_She looked doubtful but nodded anyway. "Alright." She paused briefly before continuing, planning her words carefully. "But we'll try our best to raise the child as our own, and won't speak anymore about this entire situation, okay?"_

Not long later, their first child Edward was born, and as much as they tried to ignore the fact that he wasn't actually theirs, they couldn't. They were always aware of it. Margret was embarrassed and angry whenever she saw him because she knew that he was her illegitimate son. Godfrey also couldn't get past the fact that Edward wasn't his; he was just some bastard child, and was always cold and distant from Edward. This made both of them even more desperate to have a baby which was _actually_ theirs.

When Jack was born it was a joyous occasion. Unlike Edward's birth, they made a big deal out of it, and 3 years down the line they even had friends to show him off to. Edward never really got much attention, he was always hiding in Jack's shadow, watching his family's life from the sidelines, even from a young age knowing that he wasn't really a part of it.

Edward had always managed to survive through it all with the hope that at least he would one day inherit the lands. As he got older, he became more involved with the business, when he was a young teen his father would show him how it was all done. Godfrey knew that he didn't want to work much longer, and he had wanted to teach Jack, but the younger son was always out playing and didn't really seem that interested; he decided that there was no need to push Jack into it right away, and figured when it was time Edward could always teach him. So it became that Edward was the one who did all the hard paper work and managed all the farms, but he didn't mind it. It gave him a sense of independence from his dull life.

_"I think now you're old enough to know now, Jack, that we have decided that you are the one who is going to inherit. Now I know this is a lot to take in at 14. And don't tell your brother, I've told him to show you how things work just in case something bad happens. And don't ask why we're picking you" His father instructed, looking down at a smug faced Jack._

_Jack knew full well why Edward wasn't inheriting. He had found out from his aunt one Christmas whilst she was drunk. Jack knew that there was some mystery surrounding Edward, but he wasn't sure exactly what. Well that Christmas he got all the answers he needed. (Apparently Aunt Clara had been told everything by his mother right back when she had found out she was pregnant and was worried about the future)._

_Jack never normally went out into the fields, but when he did, he found some very worthwhile information lying under the tree for him. He looked down to see Edward with one of the farmhands, the other boy's arm draped around his waist, their hands interlocked, mid kiss. He watched with a smirk as his younger brother pulled away in shock, his face flushing pink._

_"Hello brother," Jack said with a grin, watching as the two boy's scrambled to their feet. The farmhand gave a quick nod to them both before scampering away into the distance._

_"What do you want?" Edward huffed, dusting off the front of his trousers._

_"I've come to tell you a story," Jack replied calmly with a menacing grin._

That day Jack told Edward everything; not out of love for him believing he deserved the truth, quite the opposite in fact. It was to see him hurt and let his older brother know that he would always have the upper hand. So he stood there and said everything he knew, about Edward not being properly related (which to his surprise he didn't look as upset as he would have hoped, maybe he too knew something was amiss with himself), what did draw the reaction was being told that he wouldn't inherit. Those few small words caused his brother to give an expression of despair, rage and fear all at once. And to tie it up nicely he made sure Edward knew that he knew, that if he stepped out of line, that Jack had the power to destroy his whole world.


End file.
